How 'Being Over It' Is Trapping You in the Past
"Oh, that? That was a long time ago. I'm over it."
You say it confidently. Maybe you even believe it.
But your body knows you're lying.
The "I'm Over It" Lie
I hear this constantly in my practice. Someone mentions a past event—an ex, a family betrayal, a job they lost, a trauma—and then quickly adds:
"But that was years ago. I'm totally over it."
Meanwhile:
- Their jaw is clenched
- Their shoulders are up by their ears
- Their breathing has shifted
- They can't make eye contact
Their words say "I'm over it." Their body says "This is still live."
And here's the thing: your nervous system doesn't lie [1].
Why Time Alone Doesn't Heal
We've all heard "time heals all wounds." But that's only true if you actually process the wound.
If you just bury it and wait? Time doesn't heal it—it just gives the infection more years to spread.
Your nervous system doesn't care how many years have passed since the event. If it was never fully processed, it stays "live" in your body [1].
That's why:
- A song from that era still makes your stomach drop
- Seeing someone who reminds you of them triggers panic
- Certain conversations make you inexplicably defensive
- You have physical symptoms (pain, fatigue, anxiety) that doctors can't explain
You're not "over it." You're just really good at pretending you are.
What "Being Over It" Actually Looks Like
True resolution—actually being over something—looks like this:
- You can think about the event without your body activating
- You don't avoid people, places, or topics connected to it
- You don't feel the need to defend, explain, or minimize it
- The story doesn't carry an emotional charge anymore
If you're not there yet? You're not over it. And that's not a failure—it just means you never had a tool that worked on the body level [1].
Why We Lie to Ourselves
So why do we say we're over things when we're clearly not?
Because:
- We're ashamed it still affects us
- We think we "should" be over it by now
- We compare ourselves to others who seem more healed
- We don't want to be seen as weak, bitter, or stuck
- We're tired of talking about it (but we've never actually processed it)
So we perform "over it." We smile. We change the subject. We minimize.
And our bodies keep the score [1].
The Difference Between Talking About It and Processing It
Here's what most people don't realize:
Talking about the event over and over doesn't process it. It just replays it.
Every time you tell the story without a release mechanism, you're re-activating the emotional memory. Your brain and body experience it as if it's happening now [1].
That's why venting to friends can feel good for 10 minutes, then leave you feeling worse. You're stirring it up without actually discharging it.
How Bitch Tap® Closes the Loop
This is where Bitch Tap® becomes powerful [1].
It's not about talking about the event. It's about finally saying everything you didn't get to say in the moment—while tapping on acupressure points that regulate your nervous system.
You tap while you say:
"I'm not fucking over it."
"That hurt me. That changed me."
"That fucking broke me."
"I deserved better than that."
"I'm so angry I never got an apology."
"I hate that I'm still carrying this and giving it power"
You say it all. The raw, unfiltered truth. Every cuss word [1].
And as you tap, your body finally gets the message: "Okay. We acknowledged it. We felt it. We can let it go now."
That's when you finally—actually—get over it.
You Finally Get Your Nut
I use this phrase with clients all the time: "You finally get your nut." [1]
Meaning: you finally get the satisfaction, the closure, the release you've been craving.
You get to say what you should have said. You get your power back.
And here's the beautiful part: you don't have to confront the person in real life to get that relief. Your nervous system doesn't know the difference between imagining the conversation while tapping and having the actual conversation [1].
As long as you're expressing the truth out loud, your body gets to close the loop.
It's Not Weakness—It's Unfinished Business
If you're still affected by something from years ago, you're not weak. You're not broken. You're not "not over it because you're choosing to hold onto it."
You're carrying unfinished business. And your body is asking you—begging you—to finally deal with it.
Ready to Actually Be Over It?
If you've been saying "I'm over it" while your body screams otherwise, it's time to get honest.
Start with my free "What is Energy Psychology?" video to understand the foundation, then listen to my Bitch Tap® "podcast" for the story of how this approach evolved from classical EFT and why it's so powerful.
Join my email list and I'll send you guided tutorials so you can start speaking your truth—out loud, unapologetically, powerfully.
