Is Fear Spending Your Money? Or Making You Hold Onto It For Dear Life? 

One of the major influences in the way you think about your money today believe it or not, started in childhood.  Good or bad, it's what you saw at home that plants the seeds of your beliefs.  Think about it.


But it could also be the fallout from your past financial "learning experiences" as an adult that somewhere deep, keeps your spending habits off-balance.

Bottom line, it's you who stands in between the balance of your wants and your needs with it comes to money.  And a negative experience with money can screw up your entire life financially.  That is, until you learn how to flip the off-switch and make the necessary changes.


I'll share three stories from past clients to show you different examples of how things can go wrong because of past negative experiences with money.


Cheryl, a woman in her mid-sixties, told me she always had a healthy and balanced relationship with money.  She had a booming travel agency with her business partner and enjoyed success in both her business, and in her personal life for several years.  That is, until the day she found out her business partner was embezzling money from the company leaving her broke, in debt, and feeling deeply betrayed. 


After being a successful entrepreneur for so long, having to find a job with a boss lording over her had been her greatest challenge.  She was unable to keep a job because she resented being told what to do, and she was getting low-end wages out of necessity, feeling over-qualiffied and worth more.


Cheryl was pissed off at herself, and deeply bitter about her "career disaster."  The smoldering embers of her bad experience kept her feeling persecuted, frustrated, helpless and resentful.  She decided to try my approach to tapping after spending 2 years in cognitive behavioral therapy and still feeling stuck.

In our private sessions learning the Bitch Tap Method® she was able to own her self-loathing and bring back the self-love and acceptance.  Not only did she forgive herself with all her heart for her trusting nature, but she stepped into her ownership of complacency and even forgave her ex-business partner.  After all, Cheryl realized that she was the only one suffering the effects of her own grudge, not her ex-partner.


Feeling a sense of life-renewal and a new surge of ambition, drawing from her 'learning experiences' she started her own specialized business by writing a seasoned and well-versed travel blog.  She's now excited, thriving, and calling her own shots without all the blockages from her past standing in her way.  I love a happy ending!


What if you witnessed struggle, scarcity, did without, went hungry, and had to run from rent and utilities growing up?  Know what?  From those origins, the way you handle money now can go in two polar opposite directions.


Lila was raised with an alcoholic father who regularly missed work to sit at the neighborhood bar and drink all day.  As a child she experienced many hardhships including bullying at school for the tattered clothes she wore.  At home their utilites were shut off more than once, and due to missed mortgage payments, they were eventually evicted from their home.  She and her family moved from house to house living with relatives.  Money was elusive, hard to come by, and it never lasted.


As an adult, Lila became a driven and successful professional in sales, and did quite well.  She bought her own home, had an expensive German car, and was obsessed with owning designer clothing and assesories because she "deserved it," and "felt worth it."  The problem was that she was spending more money than she made, and had crushing credit card depts.  Lila found herself working just to meet her minimal payments.


Desperate to change, Lila decided to try something different like Energy Psychology and tapping to get herself back under control and remove the financial stress in her life.  She enrolled in my No More Trauma Course and systematically released her adverse childhood experiences (ACE) events.  She no longer struggles with her self-worthiness, nor does she have the urge to treat aka (comfort) herself when she's feeling stressed.  Happily, she's catching up with her depts and closing all but two credit card accounts and feels much more in control of her life.


On the opposite end of balance, some people react by becoming so tight-fisted, they still have the first dollar they ever earned.  It's a definite fear-based lack mentality, being afraid of not having enough.  A deep belief is that there will never be enough so you can't squander it or feel generous and share it, even if you do make a decent living.


Phil was known by his friends and family as a 'miser.'   Even though he had a very good paying job, he was extremely stingy with his money.  He was the one who would never pitch in his full share when out with friends, and to the embarrassment of his wife, always left a less than minimal tip for the waiters.  At large family potlucks he would bring a minimal amount of food, and leave the party with plate loads of party food to last all week.  He never afforded himself or his family any extras in life, no treats, no vacations, and bought cheap, poor quality items and foods.  His long-suffering wife did without even the basic creature comforts because she believed him when he said they had no money.  She eventually left him saying he still had the first dollar he ever earned. 


As a private client Phil reconciled his struggles growing up in poverty, and at long last, lost his fear of not having enough.  It wasn't in time to save his marriage, in fact losing his wife was the catalyst in his seeking my help.  He is now dating, and has afforded himself the dream vacation, a "pipe dream" he envisioned for years, and is now a generous tipper.  He says he sleeps better than he has in years and no longer has insomnia.  I didn't know about the insomnia issue until he noticed it wasn't a problem anymore. 


Based on their childhood traumas both Lila and Phil had emotional blockages with money.  Do you see where I'm going with this?  Have you ever wondered if there could be balance instead of both ends of these extremes?  


The law of attraction works both ways. 

If you have a fear of not having enough money, you actively repel receiving it.  


When you release the emotional drivers of a lack mentality, the money comes easy.  Have you experienced that phenomenon yet?  When you let go of the outcome, your desperation needs and plans for money, almost like magic, it starts appearing in your life. 


If you’re my age, you had depression-era parents who’s extreme scarcity experiences spilled over everything we did when we were growing up.  Dad was a barber in the sixties when long hair was more popular than a flattop.  He supported four children and a stay at home wife.  Because we were too young to understand dad's origins at the time, we all thought dad was very tight-fisted...and we were right!  Turns out, he was playing the stock market, collecting properties, and stock-piling silver and gold the whole time.  


Then there was my uber-religous mom who had a religious piety entanglement with money.  It’s better to ‘give than receive’ and also it's better to sneak money out of dad's wallet when he was asleep!  Lol!  Yep, she was an anxiety shopper, using retail therapy to quell those feelings without my dad knowing about it.  Or did he?  So, when it came to spending money on things like new school clothes, and pretty household items that weren't necessities mom had to be sneaky.  Getting away with sneak shopping was a game for us and mom was skilled.


On the other hand, I was raised not to worry about how to write a check, how to save or invest my money because I was expected to get married and be taken care of.  That was the last thing I wanted, and I made sure that wouldn't be my fate, but I was ill equipt to manage money in any way, shape, or form.  I was all over the map in my relationship with money, but mostly naive and rebelious about it from seeing my mom sneaking dad's money for the things she wanted. 

Consequently, even though I had a high paying job as a Continental Airlines Flight Attendant at 19 years old, I fucked up so many times buying stupid things instead of investing in my own place to live, and even buying my own car.  Unbelievably to me now, I didn't think I could afford it!   The grim reality was that I had no idea what to do with my paychecks other than just blow them. 


P.S. Some nice bank teller showed me how to write a check.  Sigh.  Oh well, I eventually got those regrets sorted...by tapping.


Is there any hope to change the way money makes you feel and how you feel about money?  Worthy?  Not worthy?  Good enough?  Not enough, or close your eyes and pray for enough on your credit card as you spend?  Guess what?  You really can change.


If the way you think about your money hasn’t been working for you, it's well worth starting by having a second look at the way your parents dealt with it.  Don't worry, if you think you're too set in your ways, that it’s too late to change and fix it….you're wrong!


The topic of money is really quite easy to clear energetically because it always involves negative past experiences that are easily resolved by tapping.  Release the energy of the emotions from those negative past experiences whether you lost your business, went bankrupt, were raised in poverty, or just naive, you will find your own balance and move forward.


When you lose the fear around your money you make better decisions about it, ones that will benefit you.  And you'll be able to save money easily without spending it as fast as it comes in.   Eventually, you'll be able to recognize the folly in your over-spending or under-spending habits and stop stressing yourself out.  Now that priceless!


Start with my free "What is Energy Psychology?" video to understand the foundation, then listen to my Bitch Tap® "podcast" for the story of how this approach evolved from classical EFT and why it's so powerful.

Join my email list and I'll send you guided tutorials so you can start speaking your truth—out loud, unapologetically, powerfully.



Signup for immediate access to your video and audio