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Unexpressed Anger & Health: Why 'Good Girls' Get Sick

December 16, 20254 min read

You know what nobody tells you when you're growing up?

That being a "good girl" might actually be killing you.

I'm not being dramatic. I've worked with seriously ill clients for well over two decades, and I can tell you this: every single one of them had unexpressed anger they didn't even recognize. And if they did recognize it, they sure as hell didn't have an effective outlet for it.

The Good Girl Training Program

Let's start at the beginning. Most of us—especially women—were trained from childhood to be accommodating, grateful, and above all, nice. We learned early that:

- Good girls don't yell

- Good girls don't make scenes

- Good girls don't upset anyone

- Good girls smile and say "it's fine" even when it's absolutely not fine

So what happens to all that anger you're not allowed to express? Does it just disappear because you swallowed it with a smile?

Hell no.

Where Your Anger Goes When You Don't Let It Out

That unexpressed anger doesn't evaporate. It sets up camp in your body and starts breaking shit.

I've seen it manifest as:

- Chronic tension headaches and migraines

- Jaw clenching (hello, TMJ)

- Tight shoulders and neck pain

- Knots in your stomach

- Digestive issues

- Insomnia

- Anxiety that seems to come from nowhere

- Depression that feels like you're walking through mud

But it goes deeper than that. The accumulation of unexpressed anger—what most people just call "stress"—weakens your immune system. Left unresolved, it ignites physical disease and perpetuates chronic pain syndromes.

Your body is literally keeping score of every time you said "I'm fine" when you weren't.

The Science Nobody Wants to Talk About

Excessive feelings of any emotion wear down your immune system, eventually making you sick. Ever heard someone say, "She died of a broken heart"? That's not poetic language—that's medical reality.

When you're carrying unexpressed anger, your nervous system treats it like a constant threat. Your body doesn't know the difference between a memory of something that pissed you off five years ago and a real, present danger. So every time you replay that moment—and trust me, you replay it—your system goes into alarm mode.

Day after day. Year after year.

That's not sustainable. That's how good girls get sick.

The Question That Changes Everything

Here's what I ask my private clients, and I'm asking you now:

Would you speak to your best friend the way you speak to yourself?

The answer is always "No."

But somehow, it's okay to beat yourself up. To call yourself "too sensitive" or "dramatic" when you feel angry. To stuff it down and smile through it and pretend you're not about to explode.

Why is it okay to punish yourself but not okay to simply feel what you're feeling?

What If There Was Another Way?

I'm not suggesting you go around screaming at everyone who pisses you off. (Although honestly, some people deserve it.)

What I'm saying is this: you need a way to express that anger—fully, honestly, with every cuss word—without blowing up your life.

That's where Energy Psychology comes in. Specifically, techniques like EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and my signature method, Bitch Tap®.

These aren't just "talk it out" therapies. They work directly with your nervous system, using specific acupressure points while you finally say everything you've been holding back.

And yes, cussing is not only allowed—it's encouraged.

Your Body Is Screaming "Can We PLEASE Deal With This?"

If you're reading this and thinking, "Oh shit, she's talking about me," then yeah. I probably am.

You don't have to keep carrying this. You don't have to keep smiling through the anger until your body gives out.

There's a way to get your power back, get your health back, and finally let that shit go.

Ready to learn how?

Start with my free "What is Energy Psychology?" video to understand the foundation, then listen to my Bitch Tap® "podcast" for the story of how this approach evolved from classical EFT and why it's so powerful.

Join my email list and I'll send you guided tutorials so you can start speaking your truth—out loud, unapologetically, powerfully.

Signup for immediate access to your video and audio

Related Posts:
What is Bitch Tap®
Why Venting Doesn't Work
Self-Compassion

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